reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Randomize
