but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
