Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
