So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize
