im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
