i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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