Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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