so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
