Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
send nudes
from the living room?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
