Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
