Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
