i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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