: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
