She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
