Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
