you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize