I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
