chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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