Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
