Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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