her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Sober January is a disaster.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
