What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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