i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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