sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
