so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
