So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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