It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
