I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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