girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
