on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
