Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
