Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
