i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
i need to put some appletini on your dick
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Randomize
