Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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