so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
