Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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