i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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