we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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