How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
