i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
