Just fell off a train. Bad.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize