you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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