Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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