I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
