I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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