thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
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