I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
