Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
