I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
