I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
