My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
He told me they were just razor bumps!
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
