guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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