i permit you to call me
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
