There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize