if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize