I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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