I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
