the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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