Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
