My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
