is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
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