i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
