I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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