What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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