Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
